It’s amazing– and quite frightening– what NyQuil will do to my brain. Witness the following dream that occurred last night (after I consumed one LEGAL DOSE of NyQuil cold medicine):
I awoke, disoriented, in the backseat of my car. I sat up, looked around, and discovered I was parked in the cul-de-sac of my old neighborhood. Climbing into the front seat, I started the car and made my way home. Mom and dad were just leaving for work as I pulled into the driveway. Mom stuck her head out her car window and yelled for me to hurry inside to get ready for school– the bus would be coming soon. Funny, how she didn’t even ask where I’d been all night.
A box of Raisin Bran, along with a ceramic cereal bowl and a silver spoon, awaited me at the kitchen table. At the window, yellow-checkered curtains flapped frantically– hinting at a late morning storm yet to come. I cross the kitchen to close the window. Just as my arms stretch forward, a giant naked mole rat pushes through the screen lunging towards me, teeth gnashing. I grab the broom in the corner to my right, and shove back hard– pinning the animal against the wall, just under it’s chin. Keeping my composure, I slide the beast across the wall towards the back door. Using my left hand, I manage to open the door. Returning both hands to the broom handle, I give one good hoist backwards into the open doorway, flinging the beast out into the yard.
From the corner of my eye, I see the neighbor lady scurrying across her own backyard in an attempt to free her children from the homemade chicken-wire pen that holds them prisoners. No doubt fearing that the beast will attack her children, she frantically picks at the lock. Once freed, she surrounds her little ones and ushers them back towards the porch. All three children safely inside, she glances over her left shoulder, meets my eye, and shakes her head in disgust.
I close the back door, walk over to the wall phone, and call the exterminator. He arrives a short time later with a shoe-box sized trap. It won’t be big enough, I say. He ignores me and begins his search. In the meantime, I continue to hammer down all the doors and windows.
(now that’s some scary, weird-o-shit… i kid you not)
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