i hate the part in me that can’t get past regrets. the part that wants to replay a particularly painful event over-and-over again. plotting out a better script. a better ending. me actually being satisfied with how i handled the situation.
I once read, in one of my many books on meditation, that the Buddhists believe there should be no regrets. that looking back is a total waste of time. that nothing good can come from it. that this “looking back” and examining the past is where pain comes from– the type of pain that is crippling and at the root of depression. Conversely, it does no good to look forward– as one cannot predict the future. Therefore, it’s not productive to attempt to plan a course of action with the sole purpose of fixing the outcome, nor does it benefit anyone to fret about what will, or will not, happen tomorrow, or the next day.
Rather, it is best to live in the Present Moment. To take pleasure in the goodness that is right before your eyes (be it your breakfast tea, the warm cat on your lap, or the soft, apricot glow from your table lamp). This living in the present moment is the SECRET to peace…
Truth is, I am a BELIEVER when it comes to living in the present moment (practicing Mindfulness). In fact, years ago, while in the midst of a serious depression, i sincerely believe that meditation saved my life (not that the counseling and drugs weren’t beneficial– but those were more like band-aids). Discovering and practicing Mindfulness was a coping mechanism that could be called upon when i needed it… and the benefits were often immediate.
That being said, i seriously need to revisit my meditation books. I’ve been so bitchy and angry lately… so caught up in regrets and wishing for do-overs. My heart has forgotten the art of finding joy in the Present Moment.
(i’ve forgotten to see the stars, to really look into the eyes of my loved ones, to delight in warm, fluffy slippers)
It’s time– past time– to help the heart remember.
Merry Christmas Eve!
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