Cubicle Woes

all day long, it’s been one little sh!t after another showing up at my cubicle window.  vaca can’t get here fast enough…

(goodbye cubefarm; hello beach!)

Fatties are drivin’ me batties…

Why, oh why, do the fatties I work with think it’s OKAY for them to make rude comments about MY WEIGHT– especially when I’m the only one with an acceptable BMI (??).

I mean, c’mon– enough already.  If I were to turn the tables, and say what I thought about y’all’s weight, I’d probably get turned into HR for harassment.

Just because you’re stuffing your faces (for the third time today) with donuts and chex mix, and I politely decline the offer to indulge, doesn’t give you the right to make snide remarks regarding my eating habits.  Honestly, how many times do I have to hear, ”Oh, that’s right, she already ate her one raisin for the day…”  (followed by snort, snort, huff, guffaw, BURP).

And, to the fattiest-fatty of them all, do you really need to announce to the office staff that your hubby doesn’t find my “bony ass” the least bit attractive– and that he’d never want to f*ck me.  Please, STOP! Trust me, I don’t f*cking want to KNOW that the two of you have even discussed this subject (let alone, hear you say it out LOUD in front of our collective co-workers). 

Keep egging me on, and I’m gonna put on my fightin’ gloves…

Let’s see how funny you think it is when I ask y’all: “How do you f*ck a fat woman?” Answer: “Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.”

(’cause, you know, that’s one of MY HUBBY’S favorite fat jokes… )

And, here’s somethin’ for those of us that prefer “bony ass… “

 

Office Space: Welcome to my Cube

There are five cubicles in my immediate work area.  All are exactly alike in size, shape, color.  The only difference is in the way we each choose to decorate our personal space.  Contessa chooses only the very best–

New hours… hot dog!

Same cube, same farm– but NEW HOURS. 

Starting earlier, but leaving earlier too.  Will now miss that rush hour traffic (both coming and going).   This is gonna be great for those spring training runs.  Go me…