Movie Review: SATC

Attempting not to SPOIL (for those who haven’t yet indulged).

Carrie’s outfits will NOT disappoint.  Aside from the ugly blue hairpiece she wore on her wedding day, and the knee-high argyle sock ensemble she was sportin’ while strolling in Central Park, her fashion sense was SPOT ON. 

As to the “meat of the movie”– both Charlotte and Samantha’s storylines bored me silly (especially Samantha’s).   Who knew Samantha could be so BORING?… not a good look on her.

Meanwhile, Carrie’s storyline– as well as Miranda’s– pulled at my heartstrings.  

Contessa says, “If you were a fan of the HBO series, this is a MUST SEE;  if not– RUN, don’t walk, away from the movie!”

This movie was:
(-) puking scene… although there was a crapping-the-pants scene (maybe this is the new puking?)
(+) infidelity

In case you needed proof, Contessa gives you PHOTO EVIDENCE of fashion FLOPS:

 

Movie Reviews

American Gangster (Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe)

Brilliant.  Loved it.  Based on a true story about a drug kingpin in 1970s Harlem.

This movie had it all– money, sex, drugs, gangsters, honest cops, dishonest cops, blacks, whites, Italians, Puerto Ricans, mafia, guns, family, and a freakin’ SHELBY.

Contessa says:  “If you like gritty gangster films, this will NOT disappoint!”

This movie was: (+) infidelity– multiple scenes w/Russell Crowe’s character; (-) puking*

 
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (Ethan Hawke, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei)

Two thumbs up!  Another gritty drama involving murder, drugs, sex, money, and family. 

The story evolves around two brothers who plot the ”perfect” robbery– although the robbery doesn’t go down as planned (and is anything but perfect).  And let’s face it– these two brothers have more than just a botched robbery to worry about…

Contessa says, “Intense and gritty, yet not without angst.  A must see if you like bold, brutal– and often times bleak– suspense.”   However, truth be told, I could have done without the opening sex scene.  Do we really want– or need– to see Philip Seymour Hoffman naked?… nope, didn’t think so.

This movie was:  (+) infidelity– scene w/Marisa Tomei’s character and Ethan Hawke; (-) puking*

*As gritty as both of these movies were, I’m SHOCKED that neither had a puking scene.  If, by chance, I missed it in either movie, please leave a comment (including description of the scene) so I can amend my findings. 

Movie Reviews (DVD Rentals)

Lars and the Real Girl 
Totally NOT what I was expecting.  What I was expecting– a light-hearted comedy.  What I received– a movie about a delusional young man (Lars) who had a “real” relationship with a blow-up doll (Bianca).  And, if that wasn’t screwy enough, the whole town played along w/Lars and pretended that Bianca was REAL. 

Sure, parts were funny– but the majority of the film was sad… and a little pathetic.  What shined in this movie was the LOVE that Lars’s family/friends had for Lars– ultimately resulting in Lars giving up the fantasy of Bianca (and walking off in the sunshine with a REAL LIVE GIRL)…

This movie was: (-) infidelity; (-) puking. 

Contessa says, “Skip the movie, read a book… any book.”

27 Dresses
This is one of those “princess/fairytale stories” where the girl gets the guy and they live happily ever after. 

Personally, I didn’t think the two main characters (Catherine Heigl/James Marsden) made a cute couple.  He was a little too “thin, whispy” for her… given her height.  As to the story, not very original.

Best thing about the movie?– Benny and the Jets.

This movie was:  (-) puking; (-) infidelity.

Contessa says, “Rent it if you need to believe in fairytale endings.” 

Movie/DVD Review: There will be Blood…

Contessa says, “Not enough blood in this film to keep me entertained…” 

(there will be yawning!)

Overrated.  Bigtime.  Scratching my head and trying to figure out why all the original hub-bub surrounding this movie?  Am I seriously the ONLY one that feels this way? 

Sure Daniel Day Lewis did well with his character… but still.

This movie was:
(-) infidelity
(-) puking       … never a good sign, as you need one or the other to make a really GOOD movie!

Personally, I don’t think this movie was worth 2.5 hours of my time (let alone the $3.99 rental fee).

Movie Review: 21

Predictable.  Best thing about the movie is the Vegas scenery.

This movie was–
(-) infidelity
(-) puking

(how boring is that?)

Contessa says, “Wait til it comes to DVD.”

Rotten Tomatoes agrees with The Contessa:  Consensus– Supplants the fascinating true story in favor of mundane melodrama…
 For a movie about high-stakes gambling, 21 settles for penny-ante dramatics. 04/14/08 10:41 AM

 A film that makes Rounders seem like a work of great seriousness and import.  04/02/08 04:43 PM 

Movie Reviews: Forgetting Sarah Marshall; Juno

There were things I both loved and hated about Forgetting Sarah Marshall…

Scenery?  Loved it.
Male, full-frontal nudity?  ’bout freakin’ time.
Mila Kunis?  Gorgeous!
Dracula opera w/puppets?  Original and bold.

But–
maybe a little too much stereotypical “humor,” and LONGISH in parts.

Still, Contessa says, “Not a bad way to spend a rainy afternoon at matinee prices.”

This movie was:
(+) cheating/infidelity: it’s why we’re all trying to forget Sarah Marshall.
(-) puking: amazingly enough, with all the raunchy humor, no puking scene.  Or maybe I missed it?…

 

Rented this one on DVD.  Watched it this evening.  Loved Juno! 

Amazingly quirky. 
Awesome soundtrack. 
And orange tic tacs… What’s NOT to love?

Contessa says, “A must see!”

This movie was:
(+) puking:  hello– pregnant teen in the house!
(-) cheating/infidelity.  

Movie Review: No Country for Old Men

Strange little movie.  Almost as strange as Pulp Fiction.  Almost. 

Sure, I was a little late in seeing this one– but it was worth the wait.  Certainly kept me entertained.  Never a dull moment.   Must admit though, from the title, I was expectin’ an old-style western. 

Old-style it is not.  However, like most good westerns, this movie serves up one hell of a sawed-off-shotgun scene. 

Contessa says– go see it (if you don’t mind blood).

This movie was: 
(-) infidelity
(+) puking– take note during the “border crossing” scene.

A sample of what’s being said over at Rotten Tomatoes:
 The film is as lean and mean as a barbed-wire necktie, darkly funny and much deeper than the average crime thriller.  –Minneapolis Star Tribune

Movie Review

Fool’s Gold

Ho-hum of a movie.  Actually almost fell asleep at one point.  Definitely don’t waste your money– not even when it comes to DVD.   Even if there’d been a million, there couldn’t possibly have been enough snap shots of McConaughey sans shirt to have kept me entertained.   And the actress that plays Gemma? OMG… SO ANNOYING, and so NOT funny.

This movie was:  (-) infidelity;  (-) puking– although there was a definite gagging scene (just no actual upchuckage).

Here’s what one critic had to say from Rotten Tomatoes: Ought to come with a warning sign posted in the lobby: no shirt, no shoes, no laughs.

Atonement: review

Sad.  Super sad.  Wishing I would have waited for it to come to DVD.  Better to have watched at home on the couch wrapped in a blankie, sipping a cup of tea. 

BTW, sisters can be such bitches… no?

This movie was:
(-) infidelity– although the premarital library sex is pretty freakin’ hot!
(+) puking– one soldier shown puking up blood; another soldier (different scene) shown puking over a railing while on the beach.  

Contessa says:   save your $8.50; but definitely rent the DVD.